Change of Pace

Feeling overwhelmed can cloud the mind from seeing life's bigger picture. It is easy to feel overwhelmed when you are crammed in a city with a million other people. You are constantly interacting with a wide spectrum of individuals for a variety of reasons, and not all of these interactions are pleasant.

So where do you go when you want to get away from it all for a while and clear your mind? This is where I go to recharge and revive myself when that happens. I can get away from the hustle and bustle of city life and be "alone". Here, I can clear and focus my mind, since the honks, angry exchanges and other sounds the city makes as it rushes through it's daily routine are drowned out by the perpetual gushing of water flowing past hurriedly on an endless journey downstream. Amazingly enough, it is only about 10 minutes away from the dizzying madness of the city.


After walking through the woods and absorbing the scent of the honeysuckle-laden air, I get to the river's edge and take a deep breath as I look around. I can see the perfection in the imperfections around me: like in the way the birds and bugs coexist in the corpse of a tree that still stands, providing food and shelter for them even in death; or the way the river is calm today but the exact opposite when it is flooded and destroying everything in it's path; or how the annoying gnats flying around my head like a bunch of winged electrons in orbit provide food for many others, who in turn provide food for yet others. Despite how annoying they are to me, they are a vital source of sustenance to others. In the end, the cycle of life is neither good nor bad, positive nor negative; rather, it simply is what it is.

I think about the magnitude of that statement as I look at a slow part of the river where the water has created several small pools alongside a slow and wide bend. I can see my reflection in one of them, and observe the cautious face looking back at me with what remains of a smile after years of struggle, heartache and disappointment. But behind the weathered eyes of a life that has been lived beyond reason is a bright twinkle. That twinkle represents a spark of hope that is still alive deep within me despite this seemingly hopeless situation. I'm lucky to have that, because without hope, I'd have nothing.

One of these days, I will walk to this favorite spot of mine along the river James and will find that my smile has come back to life, having broken free from the stone-cold grip that reality has had on me for too long now. I'll fight for that day, one step, project and lesson at a time, with all of my strength and hope. After all, we must be the change we want to see in life, and to be completely honest, I absolutely can't live another day like this..